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Keys to stress management decision-making:

•  Knowing that stress exists and can be handled in categories

•  Understanding the value and traps of each category

•  Being honest and realistic about your limitations

•  Making sure to allow God to do His work, His way, on His schedule; let faith rather than pace guide you.

CATEGORIES OF STRESS:

• Needs: Decisions made from the head/ thinking, e.g. basic survival, shelter, order, freedom, connectedness, fun, meaningfulness, self worth

• Wants: Decisions made from the heart/ feelings, e.g. desires, wishes, dreams, demands, expectations, etc.

• Threats: Decisions requiring the head and heart to work together, e.g. considering consequences, spiritual decorum, habits, health and other barriers

• Achievements: Accomplishments of the body based on the weight of the decisions made by the head and the heart, e.g. budgeting, relationships, job, school, success, inner peace, etc.

Keys to using the grid:

• Concentrate your efforts on A and C (needs and achievements)

• void actions and habits that cause situations to grow out of control that could be better managed instead of becoming Bs  and Ds (wants and threats), e.g. binge spending, drugs, poor anger management, inadequate communication skills

• Stay "prayed up", asking God to be with you in all that you say and do, especially in life events that truly are in the B and D ranges

Call for an appointment to learn how to use this grid as an option to stay positive, rather than be ruled by fear.

3 Spiritual Stress Management Exercises:

• 1) Starting on the right foot:

             Outcome: practice of putting God first in all you say and do

• 2) Centering yourself to meet the challenges of life:

             Outcome: practice of feeling more powerful because God is with you in all you say and do

• Visualize the power of being connected to God

             Outcome: practice of allowing God to nurture you in a safe inner place that you have created

             in your mind; and can go to no matter how chaotic life might be

Frances J. Thomas received her degrees from St. Louis University and EAP training through Washington University. She is licensed in Missouri, is a member of the National Association of Social Workers, is credentialed through the Academy of Certified Social Workers and is certified to provide ACSW and licensure supervision.

Frances provides individual and group counseling, and has had decades of experience with both. Specialty areas include crisis management for grief/bereavement, life problems, trauma or neurosis related to health, job, personal or relationship stress, abuse, addictions and relapse. She also focuses on unique issues of minority and/or women through providing personal growth coaching, career and educational mentoring. Skilled in developing short term program series, she can work with church ministries or private groups concerning special needs, e.g. life-planning issues, spiritual stress management or grief resolution.

Her solution-focused counseling, based on the conviction that only God controls hope, empowers clients to believe that they can take charge of their lives even when reality seems impossible to endure. She blends reality therapy and cognitive behavior education so that clients grow strength from within, in-spite of pressures in their outside world.

** We are proud to announce Frances Thomas' article "The Awesome Power of Optimism: A Personal Journey to HOPE" has been published in the book Overcomers, Inc.: True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration, complied by Lynne Klippel.  The article speaks specifically about overcoming personal medical and socio-cultural challenges through hard work, and about spiritual empowerment.  Frances' own struggles and accomplishments drive her to believe that as long as there is a God, optimism rules.  Her counseling style presumes that in spite of disease or circumstances, some degree of abundant living is possible.  Please contact Frances via Agape or visit Overcomers, Inc if you would like to purchase the book.